Burnout

1. Complete the stress cycle to deal with stress itself

Wellness is not a state of being, but a state of action.

The stress response cycle is a distinct physiological sequence triggered by stressors. It is important to note that removing the external cause of stress does not automatically end the body's internal physical response. To successfully transition the body back to a relaxed state, specific actions must be taken to signal that the threat has ended. Effective methods include:

• Engaging in regular physical activity (ideally 20 to 60 minutes).
• Practicing slow, deep breathing techniques.
• Participating in positive social engagement or shared laughter.
• Physical expressions of affection, such as hugs.
• Allowing for emotional releases like crying.
• Engaging in creative outlets.

Differentiating between the external stressor and the internal physiological state is vital. Managing a task or deadline addresses the stressor, but the body still requires a separate process to resolve the biological stress cycle for long-term health.

2. Use planful problem-solving and positive reappraisal to manage stressors

Frustration happens when our progress toward a goal feels more effortful than we expect it to be.

Managing stressors effectively requires different strategies depending on the level of control available. Planful problem-solving is the most effective approach for manageable challenges; it involves identifying the issue, creating a structured plan, and taking action. Conversely, for situations beyond personal control, positive reappraisal allows individuals to frame difficulties as chances for learning and personal development.

To navigate ongoing frustration, consider the following adjustments:

• Adjust the definition of success: Focus on goals that are immediate, certain, positive, concrete, and personally relevant.
• Reframe failure: Look for valuable side effects or lessons learned from outcomes that did not go as planned.
• Evaluate the decision to persist: Analyze whether the cost of continuing outweighs the benefits.

Recognizing that quitting can be a strategic and wise decision is important, as persistence is not always the most productive path.

3. Engage with your "Something Larger" to find meaning and purpose

Meaning is not found; it is made.

A sense of purpose is derived from connecting with "Something Larger," which serves as a vital anchor during both prosperous and challenging times. This connection is often found through:

• Pursuing significant goals that contribute to a lasting legacy.
• Dedication to spiritual beliefs or a higher calling.
• Developing deep, emotionally supportive relationships.

Identifying this source of meaning can be achieved through reflective exercises, such as summarizing one’s desired life impact, seeking honest perspectives from trusted peers regarding one’s core identity, or identifying specific past moments characterized by a strong sense of purpose. This engagement acts as a continuous source of fuel throughout a person's life rather than a final objective to be reached.

4. Recognize and resist the patriarchy and Human Giver Syndrome

When you are broken, go to bed.

Social systems, specifically the patriarchy, create environments that systematically prioritize certain groups while disadvantaging others. This is observed through various pressures, including unequal opportunities, body image expectations, and interpersonal dynamics. A related concept, Human Giver Syndrome, describes the social expectation that some individuals are morally required to sacrifice their time and energy entirely for the benefit of others.

Understanding these systemic influences allows for better self-management:

• It helps in identifying and completing the stress cycle when faced with systemic pressures.
• It encourages "unlearning helplessness" by focusing on areas where action is possible.
• It utilizes a sense of purpose to counteract the exhaustion of constant giving.

Acknowledging these external imbalances is a necessary step toward personal and systemic change.

5. Challenge the Bikini Industrial Complex and practice body acceptance

We are not saying that "beautiful" is what your body should be; we're saying beautiful is what your body already is.

The Bikini Industrial Complex (BIC) refers to a commercial system that promotes unrealistic beauty standards to sell products. Resisting this influence involves several shifts in perspective:

1. Mess acceptance: Acknowledging internal conflicts about body image with self-kindness.
2. Redefining beauty: Choosing to value personal standards over commercial ones.
3. Broadening perspectives: Consciously challenging the way we judge the appearance of others.
4. Prioritizing needs: Focusing on what the body requires for function and comfort rather than how it looks.

It is critical to distinguish between health and weight, as many standardized metrics like the BMI are often influenced more by commercial interests than by individual health. Prioritizing well-being through healthy behaviors is more effective than chasing arbitrary aesthetic goals.

6. Cultivate social connections to nourish your well-being

Connection—with friends, family, pets, the divine, etc.—is as necessary as food and water.

Social connection is a biological necessity that regulates human physiology and impacts health as much as sleep or diet. Building a supportive social environment involves:

• Establishing trust: Determining the reliability and presence of others in the relationship.
• Connected knowing: Seeking to understand another person’s context and viewpoint.
• The "Bubble of Love": Cultivating small environments characterized by mutual trust and understanding.
• Synchronous activities: Joining others in shared rhythmic actions, such as dancing or group singing.

Feelings of being misunderstood, inadequate, or persistently angry are often indicators of loneliness. Recognizing these signals is the first step in seeking the necessary connection with others.

7. Prioritize rest and sleep to grow stronger

Just because you've dealt with a stressor doesn't mean you've dealt with the stress.

Rest is a functional requirement for cognitive processing, physical repair, and mental health. To maintain optimal well-being, approximately 42% of a person's time (roughly 10 hours daily) should be dedicated to recovery activities, including:

• Obtaining 7 to 9 hours of sleep.
• Engaging in brief, stress-reducing dialogue.
• Participating in daily physical movement.
• Engaging in mindful eating.
• Allowing for "default mode" time, where the mind is free to wander or daydream.

Rest should not be viewed as unproductive; it is the period during which the brain and body integrate information and restore themselves. Rejecting the idea that exhaustion is a badge of honor is essential for long-term productivity.

8. Practice self-compassion to overcome harsh self-criticism

Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.

Internalized self-criticism can be a significant barrier to wellness. Overcoming this "inner critic" involves several self-compassion techniques:

1. Personification: Viewing the self-critical voice as a separate entity and treating it with kindness.
2. Observational distance: Practicing the ability to notice thoughts and feelings without being consumed by them.
3. Gratitude: Focusing on appreciation for individuals and the specific way life events unfold.

While self-compassion can feel counterintuitive or even frightening to those who believe self-criticism is necessary for motivation, it actually provides a more stable foundation for resilience. Treating oneself with the same care as one would a friend is a more effective way to foster growth and strength.

Last updated: January 22, 2025